When parents separate, most of the conversation understandably happens between the adults. Child Inclusive Mediation makes sure children aren’t left out of that picture entirely — it gives them a safe, appropriate way to share how they’re feeling, without placing any responsibility for decisions on their shoulders.
It’s a voluntary, optional part of the wider mediation process at Family Mediation, used only where both parents agree it would help and where it’s genuinely appropriate for the child involved.
Child Inclusive Mediation (CIM) involves a specially trained mediator meeting directly with your child, separately from your own sessions, to understand how they feel about the arrangements being discussed. With the child’s consent, those views are then fed back into your mediation to help shape a plan that genuinely works for the whole family — not just the version adults assume is best.
It’s worth being clear about what this isn’t: your child is never asked to decide who they want to live with, and they’re never put in a position where they feel they’re taking sides. The conversation is about how they’re feeling, not about making choices that remain entirely yours to make as parents.
At Family Mediation, this step normally comes after you’ve each attended your individual MIAM and had your first joint mediation session. Once both of you and your mediator agree it could help, your mediator will write directly to your child in age-appropriate language, explaining what to expect and inviting them to take part.
Your child decides how — or whether — they want to be involved. They can be seen on their own or together with siblings, in person or by video call, and they’re free to say no at any point without any pressure. The meeting itself is confidential: your mediator will only feed back what your child is comfortable sharing, and anything they’d rather keep private stays private, unless there’s a genuine safety concern.
You’ll usually hear back within a couple of days of that meeting, in a dedicated session where your mediator shares what your child felt able to share, and helps you both think through what it means for the arrangements you’re working on.
Families who use Child Inclusive Mediation often find it changes the tone of the rest of their sessions for the better:
This kind of consultation is generally considered suitable for children from around 10 years old, though what matters most is the individual child’s maturity and their own wish to take part, not a strict age cut-off. Younger children can sometimes be included too, depending on the situation. Your mediator will talk this through with you both during your early sessions and help you decide together whether it’s the right step for your family, and when.
This service sits within your broader Family Mediation Service, whether you’re working through a divorce or agreeing arrangements as unmarried parents. Sessions with Family Mediation can run in person at our Staffordshire office or online by video call, so distance is never a reason to leave your child’s voice out of the conversation.
The required first step before joint mediation sessions can begin.
The full mediation process that Child Inclusive Mediation sits within.
For couples working through the financial and practical side of divorce.
The same accredited service, delivered by secure video call.
Our local office in Hanley, Stoke-on-Trent.
Child Inclusive Mediation isn’t something you book on its own — it’s introduced once you’re already underway with Family Mediation, following your MIAM and first joint sessions. If you think it might help your family, mention it to your mediator early on and they’ll talk you through whether, and when, it’s the right fit.
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familymediation.co.uk is the trading name of Staffordshire Mediation Limited